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Dear All,
Thought I'd update you all on what occurred in the past 3 days and how it affects my life from this point on. But before that, some background..
As most of you know, in the last quarter of 2010, I decided to leave my job because I wanted to find a job that would be able to impact lives, focusing on the lives of children in need. I left KK and went back to Ipoh to take a break, spend time with family and look for something new. Fast forward a few months, there was no opening anywhere, until I interviewed for an NGO in Ipoh. Everything seemed to be heading to the direction of me moving back home to serve in the youth here and to work here, giving me the freedom to be able to find a job that could impact lives but yet offering a lower salary.
Because of the short length of time between the interview and possibly starting the new job, I decided to take one week to go back to KK to pack and ship all my things home. Returning to KK was bittersweet, but there was a peace to leave KK. I knew that my wanting to stay in KK was due to my selfishness in not wanting to let go of an awesome church and ministry and the community that I've thrived in for so long.
Everything changed on Sunday morning in church. After being prayed for and blessed in front of the whole church and released to return home, Pastor Philip called up a lady called Rumba to share with the whole church the work God called her to do. She felt a burden given by God to start a project called Project Bangkit (Arise) to build Christian preschools under the SIB church to give the local bumiputra Christian parents a place to send their kids that would not teach and implement Muslim values and habits into their children. The parents needed and wanted a place to send their children to that would teach Christian values and habits into their young children as they noticed that their children who were sent to government schools returned home in a mere 2 months having Muslim habits like reciting the Muslim prayer before eating.
Being a work that was in line with what I wanted to do, I of course took note of this and was asking God what He was trying to say, but right after the short sharing, Pastor John sent me a text saying that he sensed that I am meant to hear this sharing. Right after that text, my mind was in turmoil. It was so bad that I could not concentrate on the sermon (sorry Pastor..) and had to go out of church to cry and pray and try to calm myself. After barely calming myself, I met Aunt Margaret outside and shared with her what happened. She in turn told me that when Rumba was sharing, she thought of me. (Note to the young: when 2 godly people you trust say the same thing, ignoring it is not wise.) That restarted my inner turmoil and though I tried to return to listen to the sermon, I couldn't. I decided to stay outside to cry out my heart to God and question Him about this. I decided after the service I would speak to Rumba, and see where it went.
So after service I approached Rumba and shared my situation with her and told her I did not know if God meant for me to help her, but I am open to it. She said she would pray about it and get back to me the next day. Only hours later when I got a short half hour to just rest alone and pray did I finally let go of making the decision and all the emotions and stress that came with the morning and had the peace that whatever happens in the next few days, I'll just see where it leads and not feel rushed to make a decision.
On Tuesday morning, about 15 minutes before my meeting with Rumba, I received a call from the NGO in Ipoh offering me the job with them. I said I would think about it, get back to them later and went for my meeting. We met in the SIB Pusat and she shared the background of this work and also a few other very interesting things. The first was that she wanted to share this work with Skyline since the end of 2010 but there had not been an opening then. She said that out of the blue, Pastor Philip told her to share about her ministry on this particular Sunday. The second was that the work in this project was adding up as more and more preschools were started with her doing about 3/4 of the work. Recently, someone offered to sponsor a helper for her in the work and she had not yet found a person since the offer was made. She offered me the job to help her, not even knowing my background or qualifications. She then shared what work I would be needed to do and I found that all of the skills needed for it was exactly the skills that I had acquired in my two previous jobs. Talk about scary, how things line up..
During her sharing, I did feel an agreement of sorts in me, I don't know if it was a resonance in the spirit, because I don't think I've experienced it enough to recognize when it happens, but I left the meeting feeling that this is right for me. She merely told me to pray about it, seek the Lord and get back to her when I was ready. I didn't make a decision there as it is a hard decision that cannot be made lightly, but I found that during the rest of the day, especially in my packing, my mind was already operating on returning to KK.
I am now back in Ipoh, praying and seeking direct confirmation from the Lord on which job to take. Working in Ipoh will give me security but in many other ways it will be hard, especially when it comes to my walk. Working in KK will be easy for me in that I have my community and support there but will be very hard in that I will not have a lot of security and would have to rely on God for providence. Painful as it may be as I anticipate the future, my heart is leaning to return to KK, but I am hesitant to officially make the decision yet.
Would appreciate if you all could keep me in your prayers as I seek the Lord and plan the next few weeks. It looks like time is very short to make the decision and then move accordingly. Thanks!
Love
Jo-Hanna
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Dear All,
As a lot of you would know or can guess by now, I will be heading back to KK on the 26th of this month. Nothing has been confirmed as yet with work, but I will get more info by the end of this month and hopefully start working by mid April.
For a person who likes to plan ahead, I'm pretty much jumping in blind right now, but I've kind of gotten to the point where I think even if God doesn't say YES directly to me, I'm still going ahead because in a sense, He has ALREADY spoken via the crazy amazing intricately and perfectly timed plan that the Master Planner dropped me into. There are so many things ahead that needs to be sorted out for me to be able to stay in KK and work, but whatever it is, I know God will sort it out as it is His call I'm following.
There has also been a lot of assurances that following the Lord's call is the right thing and of His providence both in words from people and Words from the Lord from the last few days in KK til now. I've also gotten reminders from God not to chase after material things, which I really do worry and struggle a lot about, and to live life as the Bible says literally. I'll truly get to live out my own version of literally denying myself, picking up my cross daily and following Him. At times it will be hard and I will struggle I'm sure, but as long as my foundation and rock is right, I'll be ok. In light of God and eternity, what is there to fear right? =D
Love
Jo-Hanna
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