the journey..
..one step at a time..

reasons..

quite a number of people have been asking me why i chose to stay back here in kk recently.. most of the time i reveal part of the reasons why, but not entirely. as i was talking to God today, He lead me to these instances and i think now He wants me to reveal it all so that people who matter in my life would know and be assured.

to my wonderful parents, i'm sorry i've not told you all these before. its very hard for me to tell these things to you both without breaking down. i cant bring myself to verbally tell you, but writing is somewhat easier. please forgive the long overdue answers. i pray you both will rest assured that my life is good, even though its not very comfortable at times, and that God is taking me on this journey with Him, with all its pains and struggles and joys, to train me and teach me and to draw me closer to Him.

i chose to stay in Kota Kinabalu for a few reasons.
1. I'm growing here, and i dont think that at this season of my life, i will grow deeper or faster anywhere else
2. I think God has great plans for me here and also plans for my church and my youth here, and i want to be a part of this great plan
3. I love the youth here and i want to continue to serve and pour into their lives, to see them grow in the Lord and walk in the plans that God has for them
4. I believe God has called me here for now (whether it will change and i will return to the peninsular, i have no idea), and unless and until God calls me to move, i dont want to (and i pray that nothing will ever tempt me to move without God telling me to)

also, Pa, Mi, i know you both are very concerned about my monthly income, and i know you both hope i will get a job somewhere else even after this promotion. i too am concerned about this, but somehow i still have not actively been looking for jobs elsewhere. just like my reasons for remaining in KK, i too have reasons for remaining in Sutera.
1. I believe God has called me to this company for a reason. I dont know what it is totally, but for now, i pray my life has some impact on the staff here. many of them are uneducated and earn very little, but they are happy people even in the midst of their financial struggles. I dont do much for them and i dont actually know how to. at the moment, i just prayer walk the halls (every day that i remember to), and i try to just greet the people i walk past each day. the atmosphere has changed since i first joined, to me at least. the staff do greet each other when i first joined the company, but now they do it even more. not sure whether its just to me, but i hope this culture takes deeper root in the company.
2. I grow closer to God while working here. I have easy access to Glory Place, where i spend most of my lunch times. When i walk around the hotel and see the gardens and the sea, its hard to not feel in awe of God and His creation. When i work in the office, i try to work and practice constant communication with God at the same time. When i swim after work (now that i have my membership), it has become my time of relaxing, unwinding and also prayer. Its also hard to ignore or forget God when you can see the sun setting on the sea each day from the pool, that casts beautiful shades of gold and red and purple to the clouds above.
3. I have a wonderful office environment. my colleagues are really wonderful ppl. we have a lot of fun in the office. and we share a lot of food together xD its become a habit that when people go overseas or go out to town, they will buy stuff back to share with the whole office. we regularly have little office tea breaks, where people just buy snacks and we all share them. we also have little celebrations in our office when holidays draw near, or have farewell parties and birthday celebrations. the giving atmosphere is very much a wonderful culture in my department. and i have a really good finance director who is very sharp and awesome at her job. i really respect and admire her.
4. I believe in the company and in the things they do for the not so priviledged staff. The company sponsors some uneducated staff to get their degree in-house. they have a program in which selected staff study during certain working days and their degree is from some uni in UK (forgot the name of the uni). the staff do not need to pay a cent, and the amount the company is paying per person for this course is seriously huge.. they company also holds monthly staff parties where birthdays are celebrated as well as rewards for employees. every party is equivalent in standard to the hotel holding a paid function. from the deco to the food.. just the cost to hold that celebration monthly is enough to kill, imo. and besides that, they have celebrations for every big holiday (cny, hari raya, christmas etc) where they have a big dinner serving the best food. and all these are on top of the annual staff party, annual staff appreciation day etc etc.. many of the staff here would not have a chance to attend such wonderful functions in their life if the hotel did not organize these for them. in fact, i myself have not attended such luxurious dinners before i joined the company.
5. Staff benefits are good.. free awesome meals daily (better than what i can buy outside), hotel room discounts, food discounts, occasional free massages etc (in fact, i'll be going for a free massage in an hr =P).. and for executive level and above.. more food discounts, staff membership for the club.. its good..

i know the pay here isnt all that great, but weighing the pros and cons, i think life is pretty good where i am. and though i dont earn much, i have enough to be able to spend on the people that i love, though not as much as i would like to.. i do know how to manage my finances (according to the values and principles that i hold la..). whatever it is, i've journeyed on the finance walk with God enough to know that He is faithful and He knows what i need. He will provide, i've enough experience in that to testify, even though being in the situation is really scary. so whatever it is, i will depend on Him, and do what He does: bless and give to people. I also learned how to give from you, Pa.

i pray each of you reading this will know God's unique touch upon your own life and seek to follow His will. He is faithful and He is more concerned about your future than you ever could be. also, if you put your life in perspective of eternity, time on earth is quite insignificant in comparison, so care about the significant things in life, things that have eternal value: God and people. dont chase temporal things of the world and find at the end of your life that it was all meaningless, a chasing after the wind. that will only be a tragic waste of life.





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Kota Kinabalu, Malaysia

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