the journey..

criteria v2..

2011-10-26T23:51:00.002+08:00

this season in my life has been amazingly awesome because of the many things God is doing in, around and even through me. my walk has taken on an exponential growth and I'm deeply grateful to God for His grace and faithfulness, and I pray this growth will only get better and better, more and more with time. I want to explore the full depths of intimacy with my Lord and experience what it means to live life at God-speed, with God-power and in a God-plan. many more exciting things coming up ahead for me!

it just occurred to me today as I was sharing that as God has been changing my heart and shifting my paradigms, my criteria for a future partner for life has also changed and "simplified". I now have only 2 major criteria, though my previous list is still preferred. they are:

1. a godly heart that seeks after the Lord and is focused on learning and applying God's word to life

2. a man I can and am willing to submit 100% to for the rest of my life, as the church submits to Christ

sounds a lot simpler than my previous list, but the implications and application points are so much deeper. that's the way God works =P

Bersih and the Christian Me

2011-07-01T17:22:00.009+08:00

A year or 2 ago, I was a lot different. I didn't read the newspapers, I didn't pay attention to what goes on in our nation, I didn't really care. Yeah I know I have to fulfill my responsibility and vote in the elections, but then again, I'm so far away from home, and voting will cost me maybe RM500 or more to buy the plane tickets, bus tickets etc, not to mention the time, how long should I go back for, do I have to take leave etc.

Nowadays, as evidenced by my facebook and twitter feed, I'm vastly different. I pay close attention to the happenings of our nation, esp in the arena of politics. How did I get here? I'm not entirely sure myself. Probably from reading what other people post on their twitter feeds, and from there the concern for the nation started and snowballed til what it is today.

Today, I had time to let my mind wander, and wander it did, to what the church should do or respond in such a time as this. A few days ago, when I first heard about the Bersih rally in Kota Kinabalu, I was wondering whether attending is the right thing to do. I wanted to, for sure, but before God, is it lawful? The Bible says we are to obey the laws of the land and the rulers of the land.

Romans 13:1-2 (NLT)
Respect for Authority
[13:1] Obey the government, for God is the one who put it there. All governments have been placed in power by God. [2] So those who refuse to obey the laws of the land are refusing to obey God, and punishment will follow.

Now even though the next few verses say the authorities are put there to frighten those who do wrong and not those who do right etc, and in the case of BN that does not apply as we can see from their whole reaction to the people wanting to have a peaceful demonstration for fair and clean elections, but still, it does not make the command of God any less than what it is. God says obey the laws of the land, so that is what I must do. Now the law of the land says that we have a right to peaceful assembly as stated in Article 10 below (amazing what can be found on Wikipedia these days..)

Subject to Clauses (2), (3) and (4) —
(a) every citizen has the right to freedom of speech and expression;
(b) all citizens have the right to assemble peaceably and without arms;
(c) all citizens have the right to form associations.
Parliament may by law impose —
(a) on the rights conferred by paragraph (a) of Clause (1), such restrictions as it deems necessary or expedient in the interest of the security of the Federation or any part thereof, friendly relations with other countries, public order or morality and restrictions designed to protect the privileges of Parliament or of any Legislative Assembly or to provide against contempt of court, defamation, or incitement to any offence;
(b) on the right conferred by paragraph (b) of Clause (1), such restrictions as it deems necessary or expedient in the interest of the security of the Federation or any part thereof, or public order;
(c) on the right conferred by paragraph (c) of Clause (1), such restrictions as it deems necessary or expedient in the interest of the security of the Federation or any part thereof, public order or morality.

Now I don't think parliament has imposed any new laws against the Bersih rally or their tees or the yellow colour, so I can conclude that going for the rally would not be disobeying the law of the land or God. The main problem settled. Now, reading the article above does give me some concerns though. If we have a corrupt parliament and we leave them in power, they can freely impose laws even though the constitution says we have a right to assemble peaceably. If the parliament thinks the Bersih march is a security hazard and a disruption of public order and pass a law stating it is, then it would be unlawful to have it or go for it. What's to say they can't say everything else under the sun is a security hazard and a disruption of the public order? Now I'm not a lawyer, but from just reading those few lines, the implications and possibilities of what CAN happen should we allow corrupt, power hungry people with no regard for justice or the rights and welfare of the citizens to stay or be in power are HUGE. Very dangerous to have bad leaders..

Now the church is called to be SALT and LIGHT to the world. The church is called to stand for truth, righteousness, justice and all the good in the world. If so, can the church afford to be silent on this issue? Can the church remain silent and not stand up for fair and clean elections? Can the church by it's inaction allow corrupt leaders to stay in power? I strongly believe that the answer is NO. NO NO NO NO NO!

The church HAS to speak out. The church HAS to add our voices to the thousands of people who are now joining the movement for Bersih elections. The church has to be loudly heard. The church in fact, should be the FIRST ONES to act, because this is what it means to be Christians, to hate evil, to love justice, to be reflections of Jesus in the world. We must NEVER compromise on our stands, on our integrity, but we also must NEVER compromise on our love: for our nation, for our people, for our leaders.

I will be going to walk on the 9th of July. In faith I say I will go, even when I have a full day's training to facilitate. I will negotiate so that I will be able to go. Because I love my nation. Because I love my people. Because God demands that I stand. And because this is one of the most important things I can do for my nation.

Will you walk with me?

new directions..

2011-03-16T21:46:00.002+08:00

Guess it's time I posted 2 emails I've sent out to ppl. These emails will show what's been going on with me in the recent and coming days. Enjoy (?)!

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Dear All,

Thought I'd update you all on what occurred in the past 3 days and how it affects my life from this point on. But before that, some background..

As most of you know, in the last quarter of 2010, I decided to leave my job because I wanted to find a job that would be able to impact lives, focusing on the lives of children in need. I left KK and went back to Ipoh to take a break, spend time with family and look for something new. Fast forward a few months, there was no opening anywhere, until I interviewed for an NGO in Ipoh. Everything seemed to be heading to the direction of me moving back home to serve in the youth here and to work here, giving me the freedom to be able to find a job that could impact lives but yet offering a lower salary.

Because of the short length of time between the interview and possibly starting the new job, I decided to take one week to go back to KK to pack and ship all my things home. Returning to KK was bittersweet, but there was a peace to leave KK. I knew that my wanting to stay in KK was due to my selfishness in not wanting to let go of an awesome church and ministry and the community that I've thrived in for so long.

Everything changed on Sunday morning in church. After being prayed for and blessed in front of the whole church and released to return home, Pastor Philip called up a lady called Rumba to share with the whole church the work God called her to do. She felt a burden given by God to start a project called Project Bangkit (Arise) to build Christian preschools under the SIB church to give the local bumiputra Christian parents a place to send their kids that would not teach and implement Muslim values and habits into their children. The parents needed and wanted a place to send their children to that would teach Christian values and habits into their young children as they noticed that their children who were sent to government schools returned home in a mere 2 months having Muslim habits like reciting the Muslim prayer before eating.

Being a work that was in line with what I wanted to do, I of course took note of this and was asking God what He was trying to say, but right after the short sharing, Pastor John sent me a text saying that he sensed that I am meant to hear this sharing. Right after that text, my mind was in turmoil. It was so bad that I could not concentrate on the sermon (sorry Pastor..) and had to go out of church to cry and pray and try to calm myself. After barely calming myself, I met Aunt Margaret outside and shared with her what happened. She in turn told me that when Rumba was sharing, she thought of me. (Note to the young: when 2 godly people you trust say the same thing, ignoring it is not wise.) That restarted my inner turmoil and though I tried to return to listen to the sermon, I couldn't. I decided to stay outside to cry out my heart to God and question Him about this. I decided after the service I would speak to Rumba, and see where it went.

So after service I approached Rumba and shared my situation with her and told her I did not know if God meant for me to help her, but I am open to it. She said she would pray about it and get back to me the next day. Only hours later when I got a short half hour to just rest alone and pray did I finally let go of making the decision and all the emotions and stress that came with the morning and had the peace that whatever happens in the next few days, I'll just see where it leads and not feel rushed to make a decision.

On Tuesday morning, about 15 minutes before my meeting with Rumba, I received a call from the NGO in Ipoh offering me the job with them. I said I would think about it, get back to them later and went for my meeting. We met in the SIB Pusat and she shared the background of this work and also a few other very interesting things. The first was that she wanted to share this work with Skyline since the end of 2010 but there had not been an opening then. She said that out of the blue, Pastor Philip told her to share about her ministry on this particular Sunday. The second was that the work in this project was adding up as more and more preschools were started with her doing about 3/4 of the work. Recently, someone offered to sponsor a helper for her in the work and she had not yet found a person since the offer was made. She offered me the job to help her, not even knowing my background or qualifications. She then shared what work I would be needed to do and I found that all of the skills needed for it was exactly the skills that I had acquired in my two previous jobs. Talk about scary, how things line up..

During her sharing, I did feel an agreement of sorts in me, I don't know if it was a resonance in the spirit, because I don't think I've experienced it enough to recognize when it happens, but I left the meeting feeling that this is right for me. She merely told me to pray about it, seek the Lord and get back to her when I was ready. I didn't make a decision there as it is a hard decision that cannot be made lightly, but I found that during the rest of the day, especially in my packing, my mind was already operating on returning to KK.

I am now back in Ipoh, praying and seeking direct confirmation from the Lord on which job to take. Working in Ipoh will give me security but in many other ways it will be hard, especially when it comes to my walk. Working in KK will be easy for me in that I have my community and support there but will be very hard in that I will not have a lot of security and would have to rely on God for providence. Painful as it may be as I anticipate the future, my heart is leaning to return to KK, but I am hesitant to officially make the decision yet.

Would appreciate if you all could keep me in your prayers as I seek the Lord and plan the next few weeks. It looks like time is very short to make the decision and then move accordingly. Thanks!

Love

Jo-Hanna

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Dear All,

As a lot of you would know or can guess by now, I will be heading back to KK on the 26th of this month. Nothing has been confirmed as yet with work, but I will get more info by the end of this month and hopefully start working by mid April.

For a person who likes to plan ahead, I'm pretty much jumping in blind right now, but I've kind of gotten to the point where I think even if God doesn't say YES directly to me, I'm still going ahead because in a sense, He has ALREADY spoken via the crazy amazing intricately and perfectly timed plan that the Master Planner dropped me into. There are so many things ahead that needs to be sorted out for me to be able to stay in KK and work, but whatever it is, I know God will sort it out as it is His call I'm following.

There has also been a lot of assurances that following the Lord's call is the right thing and of His providence both in words from people and Words from the Lord from the last few days in KK til now. I've also gotten reminders from God not to chase after material things, which I really do worry and struggle a lot about, and to live life as the Bible says literally. I'll truly get to live out my own version of literally denying myself, picking up my cross daily and following Him. At times it will be hard and I will struggle I'm sure, but as long as my foundation and rock is right, I'll be ok. In light of God and eternity, what is there to fear right? =D

Love

Jo-Hanna

love..

2010-11-18T21:42:00.002+08:00

can anyone say that God does not love them? after the events of the past few days, I absolutely cannot believe that God does not love ANYONE more than can be expressed and described.

the past day has been a reminder of the love of God for His creation, His creatures. let me give u some background.

yesterday morning, a little puppy wandered into the church compound and my mom saw it. it was going back out the gate and my mom decided to just let it go, but just at that moment, a car came through the gate and scared the puppy back into the compound. my mom decided to catch it and lock it up while she went for a meeting. after the meeting, she bathed it and fed it, and because the puppy was in such bad shape, she decided to nurse it back to health. i spent a big portion of yesterday walking the dog, caring for it, watching the little thing.

today we took the little fella to the vet and she confirmed that the doggie was in bad shape, health-wise. besides that, he also has a flu, probably from the constant rain this past few weeks. he's now sleeping comfortably in a little box in the wet kitchen, away from the cold and wet of tonight's storm. every time i look at the little baby sleeping comfortably, it breaks my heart. he's now in a safe place, sheltered and loved.

life can change in one day. my mom concluded that God directed the little puppy to wander into the compound, so that it could be found by us, protected and cared for. we very hardly have any animals wander into the compound, but yesterday, a sick, malnourished, defenseless little puppy managed to find its way here. God brought it here, and watching it move and eat and wag its little tail fills me with wonder and brings tears to my eyes.

Matthew 6:26 - Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are?

all of us are of immense value to God. know it and believe it and rest assured that He will always love u and care for u, much much more than the love He has shown to my little puppy.

reflections..

2010-07-14T00:01:00.002+08:00

what are you living for? what is the big cause in your life? what are you created for? what are you created and called to do? are the things you're striving for going to be of any worth at the end of your life?

the answers to these questions will very much determine how you live your life and how you make the choices in life.

i dont have the full and specific answers to each of these questions in this point in my life, but of this one thing i am sure: i live for Him, i will go where He says to go, and i will do what He says to do. following Him has brought me to where i am now. in the mid of my form 5 year, i instinctively felt that i was to go for form 6. even though i had good enough results to probably get a scholarship somewhere, i decided to just go to form 6. after form 6, God caused me to be sent to Sabah to study, and that's how i ended up here. after my 3 years, i felt that i still had things to do in KK, and i did not feel the leading to leave, so here i am, and God has put me in specific places for specific reasons.

sometimes i feel that life would be a lot easier if i didnt follow His leading. i would be a lot "happier". but ultimately, i know His plans are better and greater than anything i could come up with. and i know because i've chosen to live the way He determines, i'm living for something that's bigger than me, and will last for eternity. it will not be easy, but He is all i need to be able to go through anything that happens.

i am made for something epic, not for mundane meaningless life. and even if right now, my life doesnt feel epic, as long as i follow Him, i know i'm on an epic journey that that is unfolding as He has mapped out, and He will be with me each step of the way. an epic journey with an epic God. at the end of the day, i think that's what life is all about..

pa..

2010-06-21T16:13:00.004+08:00

it's a day late i guess, but i wanna write a little tribute to my dad for father's day.

my dad has been my hero since i can remember. he is the man i respect most in my life, and the man i look up to the most also. all through the years, my dad has been a man who was always kind, always wise, always giving me gifts, always someone i could go to if i had any questions that needed answers. my dad has always been fun and funny (i remember him always scaring me from behind when at scary / full of suspense parts of a movie -.-), always mind mannered, reasonable and logical.

he has taught me the value of giving freedom within reasonable boundaries, of being able to make my own choices without abusing that privilege, of how to serve others selflessly and consistently, of being reasonable and thinking things through.

my dad and i share a lot in common, from our looks, our habits (which drives my mom nuts sometimes), and the way we think. i guess thats why i get along with my dad so well.

being separated from my dad and my family sucks really bad, and i miss them all a lot. whenever i meet any one of my family, leaving them is like heartbreak all over again. but i know once day we will all be together again and i will look forward to the little periods we have together and to spending eternity with the ppl that i love so much.

to my beloved Pa,

you are everything i've wanted and needed in a father and i thank you for the man that you have been to me all through these years. because of who you are, i can be who i am, both with you and with God. i can see God so much as a loving Father because you have been that loving father that has shown me what it is like. i really miss you and i wish so much that i could stay with you once again, but we all have our different calling and purpose in this life. i look forward every time, to being with you and spending time with you. i love you pa.

pain..

2010-05-16T00:41:00.002+08:00

the past month or two have been one of the worst for me.

today has been one of the top 10 most painful days of my life.

feels like i've been made to sit for SPM when i'm only form 1, and have not been given the the chance to study or even to look at the syllabus.

dealing with the failure is bad enough, having to face the occurrences which resulted was even worse.

i was given an apology after and i appreciate that and have forgiven, but still i continue to hurt badly.

i hope when i wake up tomorrow, the wound would be healed or at least healed enough to not bleed. i've been crying on and off for about 6 hrs and even the slightest brush against the wound will still cause blood to ooze.

i really hope one day i will be able to look back on all this and say it was all worth it.

i really really hope.

AWEsomeness..

2010-02-01T23:11:00.004+08:00

I've been working in Louis Pang Studio for an exact week! It has been a very busy week, work-wise but it has truly been awesome! I'm currently in KL helping to run the Hot Shoe Diaries workshops and Let There Be Light seminar by Joe McNally. It has been really fun and though I SHOULD be tired out from all this, I find that I'm not!

I just wanna praise God for this because I truly believe that God has led me to this place, in this company, with these people to serve them and to serve together with them. This position and place is pretty much what I want in a job: to be at a place with wonderful people, to be able to use a lot of the God-given skills and talents I have, to develop in my skills and to learn new things, to gain new experiences. Truly this is a great blessing and a gift from my Daddy and I'm VERY grateful to Him for this opportunity.

In just a few days, I've met and gotten to know so many awesome people! Louis & Jasmine are such inspiring and great people and they make such a great team! I pray I will also be a great partner one day =) They're inspiring in the way that they live and relate to people even though Louis is such a renown photographer. Jasmine is also showing me how to be more street-wise and how to connect with different people. The rest of the team in LPS are also very awesome! Its really fun being with them and watching them and their work. Its also great to get to hear Melvin share about what he is passionate about and how God has led him to this point and how He's leading him from here. Haven't spent time with all of them yet, but I'm sure I'll get to hear their stories one day. I've also met Joe McNally and Drew Gurian, who have come all the way here to teach and inspire the photographers of Malaysia. I'm looking forward to spending more time with these awesome ppl and getting to know them and their stories =)

Besides this, my Daddy has really shown me how much He loves and cares for me this trip. I've been looking for a few items for some time in KK but did not manage to find them. When I got to KL, He has led me to places where I could get everything that I was looking for and MORE!

Today I've also got to share more with Philip Ong, who is our supplier of Lastolite for the event and Choon Ean, who runs (I think) Live Wire Media. It is AMAZING(!!!!!) what God is doing in the media circles and also in Malaysia! Philip was sharing his story of how God led him to this job and this place, and at just the first day of the seminar, God-led connections were made! Its like God bringing different people who love Him and want to do His will, and like the pieces of an intricate puzzle, He has led us all to this place to meet and journey on together in partnership in the future for something BIGGER! Its hard to describe what has happened today, but I'm really awed by God and His great plans! I have had a sense that God is going to do something BIG from a few years back. That's one of the reasons why I've chosen to remain in KK to work and now I think God is slowly revealing His plans. I'm really excited and at the same time grateful that God would involve me in something so amazing.. How can one NOT worship before such an AWESOME and AMAZING GOD?!

I pray is that I will be faithful in the things God has entrusted to me, and that I will demonstrate His love to the people around me.

Lord, grant Your rest and strength to the whole team involved in running and assisting the workshops and seminars. Cause them to overflow with Your joy and love and strength! I'm so looking forward to the next few days and I don't want them to end!!

Goodnight! Gotta rest for tomorrow!

timeless..

2010-01-22T19:04:00.002+08:00

Beautiful lyrics from a beautiful song that always makes my heart soar and makes me worship the Lover of my soul..

Timeless

By Selah

Time, it's changing me
It's hard to see who I am
Touched, I'm touched by many things
So many things I don't understand

But seasons pass and I discover
Above all this there's another
Helping me to hold on to what is timeless

So the autumn can colour me gold
And the winter can dress me in snow
But it's You I see
The timeless part of me
In the spring time I'm young once again
In the summer I dance on the wind
But it's You I see
The timeless part of me

Change, whether it's good or bad
You know I'm glad You're in control
Oh, Lord, if I don't understand
I know Your hand will shield my soul

Seasons pass and I discover
Above all this there's another
Helping me to hold on to what is timeless

being..

2010-01-22T18:37:00.002+08:00

it's been awesomely quiet n restful first month of the year. i've been enjoying it a lot.

the pleasure of not having to rush here and there, to be able to tarry and sit by the sea while watching the sunset, to be able to come home after work and cook a simple but delicious meal, to be able to just be and not do all the time..

its just been wonderful.

next week is the start of a new phase in my life. with it will come new challenges, new experiences, new people, new joy, new ministry, new way of doing things.

my prayer for next week and the rest of the year is that God will be even more the Center of my life and my work this year than it has ever been before, that i will be able to touch lives with His hands and His love, and that i will not lose this sense of being even in the midst of my doing.

may 2010 be a journey so much more closer to Him and hand in hand with Him.

i love You, Daddy.

allah..

2010-01-16T23:45:00.004+08:00

One word. But means the world to many people.

Many would know the situation our nation is in at the moment, many are concerned. I too am concerned.

But besides concern, I think many people do not understand why it is such a big deal. I am not an expert on the subject, neither am I one who uses the word in worship, but I'd like to propose my thoughts on why this truly is such a big deal, and why I stand in unity with my fellow brethren in support of this word being free to be used in the Christian circles.

Had I not been sent over to Kota Kinabalu by God, I think I too would be clueless on why this is such a big deal because its not something that most West Malaysians would see or experience. I did not while living back in the Peninsular.

So, why is using the word "Allah" such a big deal to BM speaking Christians?

Because its THE word to describe God in BM. And they've used it for generations.

Simple isn't it. But yet, if you would choose to think deeper and further into the issue, I think one would be very much surprised at how not-simple it is..

Let me give you my example.

I speak English, I worship in English. If I apply the same situation that the BM speaking Christians are facing into my own life, what will it look like?

I think it will look like this: I am being prohibited to use the word "God" to describe God. And I have been using the word "God" since I was a kid. And generations and generations before me have used the word "God" to describe God.

Sounds very very ridiculous to me.

But besides that, what are the effects of that prohibition?

-I cannot call God as "God"

-I probably cannot own a Bible because it has the word "God" in it

-I probably cannot own or read any books that have the word "God"

-Any music CDs or sermon CDs that I have will be confiscated because they contain the word "God"

-No books, Bibles, CDs and all other resource from anywhere else in the world can be imported and sold here, because everyone else in the entire world uses the word "God"

Can you even BEGIN to understand how restrictive and hard it will be for one to be subject to those conditions?! How of the faith of the person being subject to these conditions? How is one to grow in knowledge of the faith?

These restrictions lead me down disturbing thoughts of what perhaps the people pushing for the ban is trying to achieve in the BM speaking community as a whole by the ban on the word "Allah".

Some have asked: Why can't the BM speaking Christians use "Tuhan" instead?

Let's again consider an example, and put it in the same scenario above.

Why can't I use the word "Lord" to describe God instead?

-I'm not used to it, I've been using the word "God" since I was young

But more importantly:

-I still cannot own Bibles, CDs, books, resources from anywhere else in the world.

What about translating the Bible and replace the word "God" with "Lord"?

-It wont be as accurate as it was before

-Translating a Bible cannot be done in a day or even a month. There is no Bible translation in existence now that I can use to replace the one I have. Am I to wait years and years before somebody somewhere (if there is a somebody at all) translates the Bible into one that I can use in the restrictions imposed.

I cannot imagine being banned from using the word "God" in my daily worship and in my daily life. So how could I possibly not support my fellow Christians who are facing these situations now?

I pray that people all over the world would have their eyes and ears and heart opened towards our BM speaking Christian community and would rise up in prayer and petition for our nation and for its people.

May His will be done on earth as it is in heaven, now and forevermore.

acapella..

2009-07-19T21:12:00.003+08:00

i recently checked out this band from their youtube clips. they were recommended by the acapella group that came during the jazz fest recently. (i wrote down the band's name but didn't go watch til now)

the album they have is awesome.. and it really doesnt sound like its all done by voices. but for those who find it hard to believe, check out these vids!

i am amazed... nuff said.

dreams..

2009-07-07T19:49:00.003+08:00

this subject came up as a result of different thoughts and ponderings and so i think its a good time i share my own dreams. i dont think i've shared this on my blog yet.

at this point of time, i have two major dreams (as in things i wanna do), and some minor ones..

dream 1 : my life ambition

which is to be a wife and mother.. full time.

in this day and age especially, where family bonds are not strong and the world is getting worse and worse, i think there is a need for me to be dedicated full time to my family. i do not want to be a wife who is tired out at the end of the day and has no strength or mood to serve and care for her husband. i do not want to be a mother who goes to work and leaves her kids with a maid / babysitter or someone else to train them and bring them up. a child's upbringing is of the utmost important and i think its absolutely vital that i am ALWAYS there to care and train my children.

i was blessed that both my parents were always at home. both my mom and dad worked from home. i remember that whenever my parents were not around, i would get excited because it was such a rare occurance.. but its very assuring having my parents always being around and easily available (i prob wouldnt say that while i was growing up, but now i realize what a blessing it was). i learned a great deal from my parents and life at home is something i now wish i had. it was a blessed time with great memories and fun with my parents and my siblings. i want my family to be like that too, and i want my children to have that same experience. and i want my children brought up well, which means i cannot leave the responsibility of teaching n training them to other people. and i want my husband to have the best help mate he can, to help him achieve the call and destiny that God has upon his life.

dream 2 : home ministry (?)

a few yrs back, probably in my uni yrs, i had a dream. i think it was a day dream but its something i want to do, if God enables and provides. in my original dream, i saw my home, filled with children, friends of my children and also children from the neighbourhood who were from broken families or who were left alone because both parents were busy working. i saw them finding a place they could call home, a place of love and belonging, where they would find the love of a family like God intended, and a place of refuge for them from the world. my family would love these kids as if they were part of the family (and in this i think it would be a good training for my own kids to learn to be selfless as well as loving and how to minister God's love to others).

i've since considered also making my home a refuge to the mothers living around me. single mothers, needy mothers from broken families or even other full time mothers could come and help or find help. it would be a ministry to the mothers as well as to the children. well, the men can come too if my husband is around, i think.. havent thought that part out yet.

this is no easy feat. for starters, i'd need to fulfill dream no 1. then i'd need a house big enough for a lot of ppl, with a big backyard that children could play in comfortably. i'd also need a husband who is supportive of this ministry and also full of love for people, especially children. and of course if there's gonna be so many women around, my husband MUST be the faithful kind.

there are a lot of obstacles to this dream. this is something i cannot accomplish alone. its something i want to do, but if God does not enable and supply, i wont be able to. small scale of course can do at home, but not as it was in the dream.

these are the 2 major dreams in my life at the moment. i believe they are given by God. the first dream is something i've known in my heart of hearts for a few years now. growing up, i've never thought abt or wanted to be a full time wife n mother, but somehow one day it was just there, i dont even know how, i just know. just like how i just knew i was to go to form 6 and not college. the other was born out of the first dream.

about the others.. little dreams (or wishes, if u'd like to call it that) that i have:

1. send my parents on a holiday, to Israel. i think my dad has long wanted to go there. both my parents work too much and rest too little.

2. buy my dad a lot of gadgets. he loves technology.

3. meet a few dear friends around the world

4. see revival in the youth (and be part of it too of course)

5. see my girls grow into great women of God

6. travel and see the world

7. go raiding on WoW until i'm satisfied

in the current path of my life, i dont know or see how most of these dreams can be fulfilled. but these dreams, these desires of my heart, i give to God. if He grants them, then it will come to pass. if He doesnt, that's His right. He is LORD after all.

anger..

2009-06-30T19:35:00.003+08:00

i somehow find that showers are the best "thinking times".. not that i consciously think while showering, but my mind somehow drifts to different things and come to certain surprising conclusions / revelations / light bulb moments etc..

today my mind was drifting to current issues in my life, and also took a stroll down memory lane.. through that journey, i've discovered certain things..

i've realized that there are 2 things that ignite my usually cool temper:

1. being unfairly judged

2. being accused of things i did not do

these also cause a lot of hurt. i do get hurt, but hurt + anger is not very common a combination in my life.

i've realized this by reflecting back on the times i've been explosively angry back when i was a teenager (man that sounds like it was so long ago!) until my dad had to tell me to stop shouting. after that i stopped shouting i think, but i can tell u the shouting continued long and loudly in my head. i still do this today.. when i'm angry, i'll be arguing and shouting and venting all my anger, only in my head. sometimes heated words do leak, but the bulk of it is still in my head.

not many here have seen my temper, i think only my family has seen the full extent of my temper, but i think my colleagues have seen my temper spark more than anyone else here in kk. when things don't get done properly and on time.. heated words leak, but i do control it.

these few weeks has seen constant flares of hurt and resentment like nothing i've known in my 5 years here. at first hurt.. but now more and more mixed with resentment that causes frequent shouting matches in my head. nothing even like any bgr problems i've had before. i'd have expected those fragile and intimate relationships to cause much more hurt but who knew.. perhaps because i'm sore on these 2 areas and i dont get hit here from bgrs. sigh.

nevertheless, i see God's fingerprints on all these.. just like Him to bring stuff to poke all the sore spots and bring it out in the open for me to deal with. God continues to move, even though inside i feel like i'm further away from Him than i've ever been in these past 5 yrs.. the grace and love of God.. would a mere mortal such as i even begin to comprehend its breadth and depth?

for now, the way forward is still hidden from me.. i'm still stuck where i dont want to be with no way out. all i know now is to say these words from a book i read today, "I shall never do otherwise, if You leave me to myself; 'tis You must hinder my falling, and mend what is amiss"

'tis You..

truths..

2009-06-09T22:52:00.003+08:00

i thought i'd blog this so ppl everywhere can read..

WHAT WAS YOUR:
1. Last beverage: peach green tea with tiny pearl & orange green tea with tiny pearl xD
2. Last phone call: melvyn lim
3. Last text message: emery joy
4. Last song you listened to: on my phone, the gospel of mark audio book (not song la), on my workstation, something from justin timberlake, at the shop.. i dunno.. some songs la...
5. Last time you cried: yesterday, a few times, different degrees of intensity (lol).. like mel, tears of gratitude

HAVE YOU EVER:
6. Dated someone twice: what does that mean?
7. Been cheated on: if its by a guy, nope
8. Kissed someone & regretted it: hmm.. no regrets la, i'm not a regretful kinda person... things happened, learn from it, move on, thats it..
9. Lost someone special: yep *sigh*
10. Been depressed: got la but not seriously badly depressed.. maybe once when i was younger n contemplating suicide but i think just that once it was bad..
11. Been drunk and threw up: not yet.. dunno if it'll ever happen.. we'll see

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLOURS:
12. purple
13. black
14. erm.. dunno

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: (2009)
15. Made a new friend: yeah, some..
16. Fallen out of love: dont think i'm even qualified to be in the "in love" category, so cant fall out of love
17. Laughed until you cried: yepz
18. Met someone who changed you: yep yep
19. Found out who your true friends were: i've known for a long time..
20. Found out someone was talking about you: yeah, i overheard.. mel n josh, talking abt ppl not being able to run.. hmphz.. looking down on me!
21. Kissed anyone on your friend's list: yep hahaha
22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life: a looooootttttt
23. How many kids do you want?: 2 or 3
24. Do you have any pets: i dont have any of mine atm, but my hsemate has 2 hamster-mice..
25. Do you want to change your name: no way!
26. What did you do for your last birthday: spoiled a surprise and ate sushi hahaha
27. What time did you wake up today: erm, i woke at 4+am, then 6+am, then 7+am, and 8+am..
28. What were you doing at midnight last night: catching Zs
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for: the day i meet him..
30. Last time you saw your Mother: when i went back for my grandpa's funeral..
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: i'd like to have more self control..
32. What are you listening to right now : the buzzing sound my laptop cooler makes.. and my typing..
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: cant remember..
34. What's getting on your nerves right now: nothing..
35. Most visited webpages : gmail, twitter, google reader
36. Whats your real name: Jo-Hanna Ho Wai Yann
37. Nicknames: jo, jojo, jojo power ranger (by that one dude..), and some other not so nice ones..
38. Relationship Status: alone.. *sniff*... lol
39. Zodiac sign: nvm abt this..
40. Male or female?: female

41. Primary School?: not this year.. SRJK(C) Ave Maria Convent
42. Secondary School?: SMJK Ave Maria Convent, the awesomest school that has moulded me so much!
43. High school/college?: SMK St Michael's Institution (form 6) & Universiti Malaysia Sabah

44. Hair colour: black with brown
45. Long or short: long
46. Height: 155ish cm
47. Do you have a crush on someone?: no crush, too shallow..
48: What do you like about yourself?: everything, except my self control..
49. Piercings: ears only
50. Tattoos: birthmark got la
51. Righty or lefty: righty

FIRSTS :
52. First surgery: none as far as i know..
53. First piercing: ears
54. First best friend: first one i called best friend is Eugene Lim, but the only true best friend is Scott Anderson (i'm talking mortal best friends)
55. First sport you joined: sport ah.. joined as in a team, probably handball
56. First vacation: think its the starcruise gemini when i was in my tweens
58. First pair of trainers: dunno..

RIGHT NOW
59. Eating: nothing
60. Drinking: nothing
61. I'm about to: finish this then sleep?
62. Listening to: same as the last listening to question
63. Waiting on: me finishing this..

YOUR FUTURE
64. Want kids?: for sure..
65. Get Married?: dont even need to ask..
66. Career?: dream job : full time wife & mother

WHICH IS BETTER :
67. Lips or eyes: eyes
68. Hugs or kisses: kisses
69. Shorter or taller: taller
70. Older or Younger: depends on what area
71. Romantic or spontaneous: romantic
72. Nice stomach or nice arms: doesnt matter to me
73. Sensitive or loud: sensitive
74. Hook-up or relationship: relationship
75. Trouble maker or hesitant: neither, but between the 2, i'd rather have a trouble maker..

HAVE YOU EVER :
76. Kissed a stranger: i dont think so..
77. Drank hard liquor: i should have..
78. Lost glasses/contacts: havent lost any, i've broken one pair of glasses..
79. Sex on first date: no sex yet
80. Broken someone's heart: yeah... *sigh*
82. Been arrested: nope..
83. Turned someone down: depends on what..
84. Cried when someone died: yeah, a lot..
85. Fallen for a friend?: arent all ppl that are considered for relationships friends?

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
86. Yourself: yes i do, but only within my limitations.. for all the rest there's God
87. Miracles: yes
88. Love at first sight: nah..
89. Heaven: yep
90. Santa Claus: dont think i ever have
91. Kiss on the first date: depends.. the runway before a "first date" for me is pretty long.. ideally..
92. Angels: yes

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
94. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time: nope
95. Did you sing today?: think so..
96. Ever cheated on somebody?: physically no, emotionally.. i think there was one period that i did..
97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go?: dont think i'd go back in time..
98. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it, what would it be?: no idea..
99. Are you afraid of falling in love?: nope, i've never been afraid of that..
100. Posting this as 100 truths?: i dont really get the question..

wowwwwww...

2009-06-01T12:33:00.004+08:00

blog worthy stuff today..

1. the naruto story is awesome, the life lessons you can learn from it, my salutes and respect to the author. cant wait for the unfolding of how he changes the world! he demonstrates how we should be living sorta.. except we should be doing even more with the help of our awesome creator of the universe God.

2. new moon trailer *GIRLY SCREAM* check it out!!

new moon is my least fav book of the saga, cos edward isnt the main character featured in the book, cos i'm

disappointed that he left her alone in pain. even though it was really noble of him, the action he took was plain stupid...

noble, very noble but really stupid. if my bf/hubby did that kinda thing, i'll slap him silly until he knocks outta it.

so yea.. awesome..

i havent been catching up on my manga for months.. hmm.. perhaps time to pick it up again..

littering..

2009-05-24T22:43:00.004+08:00

today i came face to face yet again with something i absolutely loathe and despise : littering..

thru the years, i've had friends, and closer friends (*ahem*) that absolutely LOVE to litter and its about time i publicly speak up against it.

i absolutely hate ppl littering and being inconsiderate and uncaring, thinking the world is their freaking rubbish bin and that ppl are there to pick up after them. your litter, even if its a teeny weeny sweet wrapper MAKES A DIFFERENCE. if everyone in the world thinks that throwing a little piece of tissue or a sweet wrapper or an empty bottle doesnt make much of a difference, guess what? the world will be a freaking rubbish dump! God DID NOT make the world beautiful so you can pollute it with your rubbish! its absolutely disgraceful and reflects a very bad attitude.

these are some excuses i've been given when i've confronted ppl about littering..

1. malaysians do that, its a culture..

what a load of bs. its not a malaysian culture. its a selfish culture. throwing your trash anywhere that is convenient to you is nothing but selfishness.

2. if ppl dont throw rubbish, the city sweepers would be out of their jobs

shouldnt we be TRYING to get them out of their jobs so they can do more meaningful work and so that all the taxpayer's money doesnt need to be spent just to pick up trash from public places? i can think of a hundred better uses of the money ppl pay to the government.

your act of littering tells me a few things.

1. you dont treat the town/city/nation/world that you live in as your home. you do not have ownership of the place you call your home. you dont care basically. so wth, just throw stuff anywhere, it doesnt matter to you, its not your problem right? WRONG! you LIVE in the place where you're ruining. you have a responsibility to take care of the condition of things, be it cleanliness or safety or anything else that concerns where you are. its called civic mindedness.

civic mindedness - disposed to look after civic needs and interests

civic - of or relating to a citizen, a city, citizenship, or community affairs

when you litter, or you vandalise or you carve / liquid your initials or whatever else onto your school desks, that shows that you dont look after civic needs and interests.

let me ask you. do you simply throw rubbish anywhere in your home? do you not clean up your own rubbish at home? what difference is it whether its in your home or outside in public? do you not live and breathe in both places?

2. you are selfish and you dont think about the consequences of your actions, or you dont care even if you do know. you think the world is there to serve you and not the other way around. even if you think you "paid" for it, or that other ppl will pick up after you doesnt make littering alright. it doesnt give you the right to have someone do something so degrading either. even if its their job, the least you can do is to make it easy for ppl to clear things up. helping someone do their job easier or better is not wrong you know. if you yourself dont think its degrading, then please, let me see YOU pick up someone else's rubbish willingly. the probability that ppl who litter will willingly pick up someone else's rubbish is freaking low. heck they wont even pick up their own, what more other's. selfish, utterly selfish and prideful.

if you are feeling offended, then GOOD, this post is MEANT for you. please go somewhere quiet and reflect on what you are doing and the motivations of your actions. if there is a GOOD reason (and i highly doubt it) why you're littering, PLEEEEEAAAAASE, do let me know.

dance..

2009-05-23T01:04:00.004+08:00

here's a taste of something i love so much.. latin ballroom..

my favourite latin dance is samba.. its just fun & awesome, and you need good technique to be able to pull it off well.. much more than any of the other latin dances imo..

my 2nd fav is rumba.. there's so much emotion one can put into those dances.. sigh..

check out these clips..

also , check out this really nice rumba routine.. embedding on this clip is disabled so click here to watch..

whilst browsing, i saw these clips of the top 7 dance couples in the Eurovision London 2008 dance competition.. the dances are all mixed, with really interesting choreography and music. my favourite couple is in there too! check it out!

one thing i love about latin ballroom is also that their costumes are really nice.. not all la.. dislike those puffy ones.. and the material is also awesome.. flowy, sleek and totally elegant.. i'd love to have dresses made of that material..

oh, i'm also preparing to take the silver level exams for 3 dances in october. the 3 i've chosen are the samba, rumba, and also cha cha.. gonna skip the bronze level cos its a bit too easy, not to mention i'd be wasting the $$ to take silver after that..

ugh.. i just realised that i'll need to find something to wear for the exams..

music..

2009-05-05T22:52:00.002+08:00

this piece of work is worth blogging about ^^

help..

2009-04-19T01:42:00.002+08:00

save me from this life I'm living..
bring me to the life You're dreaming..

save me..

reasons..

2009-03-24T16:37:00.002+08:00

quite a number of people have been asking me why i chose to stay back here in kk recently.. most of the time i reveal part of the reasons why, but not entirely. as i was talking to God today, He lead me to these instances and i think now He wants me to reveal it all so that people who matter in my life would know and be assured.

to my wonderful parents, i'm sorry i've not told you all these before. its very hard for me to tell these things to you both without breaking down. i cant bring myself to verbally tell you, but writing is somewhat easier. please forgive the long overdue answers. i pray you both will rest assured that my life is good, even though its not very comfortable at times, and that God is taking me on this journey with Him, with all its pains and struggles and joys, to train me and teach me and to draw me closer to Him.

i chose to stay in Kota Kinabalu for a few reasons.

1. I'm growing here, and i dont think that at this season of my life, i will grow deeper or faster anywhere else

2. I think God has great plans for me here and also plans for my church and my youth here, and i want to be a part of this great plan

3. I love the youth here and i want to continue to serve and pour into their lives, to see them grow in the Lord and walk in the plans that God has for them

4. I believe God has called me here for now (whether it will change and i will return to the peninsular, i have no idea), and unless and until God calls me to move, i dont want to (and i pray that nothing will ever tempt me to move without God telling me to)

also, Pa, Mi, i know you both are very concerned about my monthly income, and i know you both hope i will get a job somewhere else even after this promotion. i too am concerned about this, but somehow i still have not actively been looking for jobs elsewhere. just like my reasons for remaining in KK, i too have reasons for remaining in Sutera.

1. I believe God has called me to this company for a reason. I dont know what it is totally, but for now, i pray my life has some impact on the staff here. many of them are uneducated and earn very little, but they are happy people even in the midst of their financial struggles. I dont do much for them and i dont actually know how to. at the moment, i just prayer walk the halls (every day that i remember to), and i try to just greet the people i walk past each day. the atmosphere has changed since i first joined, to me at least. the staff do greet each other when i first joined the company, but now they do it even more. not sure whether its just to me, but i hope this culture takes deeper root in the company.

2. I grow closer to God while working here. I have easy access to Glory Place, where i spend most of my lunch times. When i walk around the hotel and see the gardens and the sea, its hard to not feel in awe of God and His creation. When i work in the office, i try to work and practice constant communication with God at the same time. When i swim after work (now that i have my membership), it has become my time of relaxing, unwinding and also prayer. Its also hard to ignore or forget God when you can see the sun setting on the sea each day from the pool, that casts beautiful shades of gold and red and purple to the clouds above.

3. I have a wonderful office environment. my colleagues are really wonderful ppl. we have a lot of fun in the office. and we share a lot of food together xD its become a habit that when people go overseas or go out to town, they will buy stuff back to share with the whole office. we regularly have little office tea breaks, where people just buy snacks and we all share them. we also have little celebrations in our office when holidays draw near, or have farewell parties and birthday celebrations. the giving atmosphere is very much a wonderful culture in my department. and i have a really good finance director who is very sharp and awesome at her job. i really respect and admire her.

4. I believe in the company and in the things they do for the not so priviledged staff. The company sponsors some uneducated staff to get their degree in-house. they have a program in which selected staff study during certain working days and their degree is from some uni in UK (forgot the name of the uni). the staff do not need to pay a cent, and the amount the company is paying per person for this course is seriously huge.. they company also holds monthly staff parties where birthdays are celebrated as well as rewards for employees. every party is equivalent in standard to the hotel holding a paid function. from the deco to the food.. just the cost to hold that celebration monthly is enough to kill, imo. and besides that, they have celebrations for every big holiday (cny, hari raya, christmas etc) where they have a big dinner serving the best food. and all these are on top of the annual staff party, annual staff appreciation day etc etc.. many of the staff here would not have a chance to attend such wonderful functions in their life if the hotel did not organize these for them. in fact, i myself have not attended such luxurious dinners before i joined the company.

5. Staff benefits are good.. free awesome meals daily (better than what i can buy outside), hotel room discounts, food discounts, occasional free massages etc (in fact, i'll be going for a free massage in an hr =P).. and for executive level and above.. more food discounts, staff membership for the club.. its good..

i know the pay here isnt all that great, but weighing the pros and cons, i think life is pretty good where i am. and though i dont earn much, i have enough to be able to spend on the people that i love, though not as much as i would like to.. i do know how to manage my finances (according to the values and principles that i hold la..). whatever it is, i've journeyed on the finance walk with God enough to know that He is faithful and He knows what i need. He will provide, i've enough experience in that to testify, even though being in the situation is really scary. so whatever it is, i will depend on Him, and do what He does: bless and give to people. I also learned how to give from you, Pa.

i pray each of you reading this will know God's unique touch upon your own life and seek to follow His will. He is faithful and He is more concerned about your future than you ever could be. also, if you put your life in perspective of eternity, time on earth is quite insignificant in comparison, so care about the significant things in life, things that have eternal value: God and people. dont chase temporal things of the world and find at the end of your life that it was all meaningless, a chasing after the wind. that will only be a tragic waste of life.

mmmm.....

2009-03-16T23:03:00.006+08:00

found out abt this from Aunt Terri's blog..

i sooooooo wanna try this at least once.. looks...... "to die for" hahaha..

i'll only be able to manage a single though..

check it out!

dinner3..

2009-01-20T23:56:00.004+08:00

hit number 5 : lok lok

tonight we headed to the pasar malam to have one of our fav foods.. lok lok!

ding deciding what to have..

the selection..

price?
RM0.60 per stick

after we finished, we walked thru the pasar malam, and i ate and ate and ate... didnt help that the "good" doctor kept pushing me to succumb to temptation the whole night...

gee thanks ding.. u helped me add inches to my waistline -.-

lunch3..

2009-01-20T23:23:00.005+08:00

hit number 4 : kai si hor fun, satay n custard

here we are at one of the most popular coffee shops in town that serves super yummy stuff!

this is the shop that i go to for the above mentioned.. the chee cheong fun here is good too, but i can only eat so much..

ppl go to this shop for popiah.. there's also another kai si hor fun stall here but i prefer the other one.. they also serve beef noodles n some other stuff..

the food!

just to illustrate how smooth it is..

a large bowl of kai si hor fun

finger licking good satay: chicken, intestines n liver.. all good!

price?
kai si hor fun - RM4.50
egg custard - RM2.00
satay - RM0.60 per stick

dinner2..

2009-01-20T22:51:00.005+08:00

sorry its a bit late, i've been lazy.. =P

hit number 3 : dim sum

went to have a nice dim sum dinner with ding and my dad.. i had fun.. except when they both ganged up on me -.-

enjoy ^^

price?

miss..

2009-01-19T17:52:00.002+08:00

to the crazy ppl i love and miss.. and am hardly apart from for long periods of time (meaning more than 3 days??)
hope u all are having a great time ^^
happy cny! (still early but oh well.. xD)

lunch2..

2009-01-19T15:53:00.006+08:00

hit number 2: hakka mee!

dad n i were supposed to go out for breakfast, but ended up stuck in the optician's cos i wanted to repair my old pair of specs.. at the end of that visit.. i had to change even the lenses of my current specs (cos the kk fella gave me wrong power for one eye.. the uncle said was 100 degrees diff..). the uncle at the shop where i did my first pair of specs said the one i use now has one eye higher than the original n one eye lower.. and it all makes sense cos i always feel a strain on one eye wearing my glasses.. and i hate using it to work cos it makes my eyes strained n uncomfortable.. reminder to self: make glasses back here in ipoh or find a good place in kk.. also.. ended up getting contacts.. dang it i broke my promise to myself... sighz..

aaaaaanyways.. now to food! first of all, i apologise for the bluriness of the photos cos silly me didnt use the macro function.. was a rushed job cos it didnt feel nice keeping my dad waiting.. took shots in wrong settings (still had it on the beach / landscape mode for the retreat), then no flash.. flash.. dang.. tonight's will be better i promise! though i need to do it fast cos there'll be 2 hungry mouths besides my own tonight.. ding, sorry in advance first if i keep u from ur dim sum ah~ hahaha...

finally found out the restaurant's name.. yik san.. i'll let the pics speak..

the shop..

the owner..

the food!

mine (single, my dad had a double)..

the awesome beef & stomach lining (not very visible, its mostly under the beef)..

the beef balls which have a very good texture.. has just the right bite to it..

oh and not forgetting the chilli.. the chilli here is awesome.. spicy with just enough sour..

price?
RM17.50..
price includes a large cup of iced white coffee n a cup of hot white coffee..

also, here's a pic of the yim guk kai shop from the car.. doubt i'd be tasting any, unless my parents are bringing some down to kl for cny..

oh i forgot to say.. i can finally use my own cam cos my awesome dad-who-has-almost-everything has a card reader that reads sony memory sticks! (which he said he has not used at all since he bought it.. lol)

dinner1..

2009-01-18T23:13:00.009+08:00

hit number 1 : nga choi kai (taugeh chicken)

i had dinner tonight with my dad. nga choi kai at ong kee. i apologise for the quality of the pics cos silly me forgot to bring a camera, so i had to take these on my phone.. also.. the genius that i am.. i brought my small n easily portable camera, but forgot to bring the cable to connect to my comp... sigh.. so my next best option is to carry my dad's big bulky around n look like a Bernard *ahem* i meant a tourist.. double sigh..

anyways, here are some pics..

the restaurant..

the chicken, smooth, supple, tasty with just soy sauce, pepper n sesame oil.. dunno if they put other stuff, i’m not that pro a food critic

the taugeh, fresh, crisp, soy sauce, pepper etc.. ipoh has the best taugeh because of the water from the limestone hills i’m told. We also have the best tofu (and i do agree, have not had better fresh tofu from anywhere else.. i LOVE the ones my mom just buys from the market, washes, chills n just serves with dark sauce, pepper, soy sauce, fried onions n spring onions..)

the hor fun.. cut thin, awesomely smooth, with super yummy n tasty soup.. the bliss..

we had these with a bowl of big pork balls n 2 cups of gam kat (golden lime.. i regret ordering that cos i’ve always disliked it but dunno why.. slip of the tongue...)

price?
RM19.80 for everything

...i miss ipoh food....

food..

2009-01-15T19:40:00.003+08:00

in response to aunt terri's request, here's a list of well known places to eat in ipoh, as well as a few of my personal favourites thrown in.. forgive me if i cant supply the names of the shops, i just know the food there =P i'll try to find out the names and also supply pics and pricings when i go home on sat.

the populars

taugeh (beansprout) chicken is a must in this city, served with soupy hor fun, and the 2 most famous restaurants are lou wong and also ong kee.. they are both side by side, and they dont need to compete as there are more than enough (most times overflowing) customers to pack both places out. i personally prefer ong kee but lou wong is the most well known. i find that lou wong's chicken has sort of a powdery melt in your mouth texture, whereas ong kee's has more of a bite. taste-wise they're both good. also, there's a more oily feel to the food served in lou wong (my opinion la..)

kwong heng is another popular place to eat. the shop, and the one next door to it (which i dunno the name) serve a variety of food. people come here for the popiah and also the kai si hor fun (hor fun in soup with chicken shreds), the shop next door also has kai si hor fun (i prefer the this shop), chee cheong fun and satay (chicken, beef if i remember correctly, pig intestines and pig liver). however, this shop is well known for its egg custard. everything here is good. i usually go for the kai si hor fun, the satay (intestines and liver! awesome.. even though i'm not that great a fan anywhere else), and the custard (its super smooth)

further down the road from kwong heng, there's a restaurant that serves hakka mee with beef soup. the beef & soup and beef balls there are the best! they make their own beef balls. the beef n soup is sorta like the one served in menggatal except that its a lot nicer =P best to visit this shop in the mornings as they sell out at around 12-1pm

yook fook moon in greentown serves hk dim sum. i always love to go there. they are open for breakfast, lunch and dinner! so cooool~

there are also 2 other popular dim sum restaurants in town, one is opposite yook fook moon. the restaurant is called ming court. i've never eaten there but i know its popular. but the most popular one of all is called foh san. it's been around for ages, though i havent eaten there since i was in my primary school days i think.

hoong tou is a restaurant in old town that we sometimes go for fried noodles. we dont eat there much even though the food is good because you normally order big plates of stuff, so if its just 2-3 ppl, not so nice to eat there =P one thing i love there is their deep fried wan tan with plum sauce!

further down the road from hoong tou is the famous old town white coffee shop (the original, not the chain). they also serve penang char kue tiau there. opposite that shop is where people have their half boiled eggs with toast, in the old town traditional way, right down to the cups and saucers and little spoons.

on the next block, there's a restaurant serving northern indian food. what i love most about the place is their naan!! i absolutely love the cheese naan there. it has just the right texture and there's no oil on it! best eaten hot but it tastes great even when cold (i know cos i ta pau-ed it back after a super filling lunch just so i could have more later.. i ate it late at night)

speaking about indian restaurants, there's an indian restaurant called lotus that my chindian relatives love to go to. thats where my aunt and my mom would bring ppl for indian food. i remember trying something special there but cant remember specifically what.. (years ago.. forgive my memory..)

there's an arcade called woolleys in ipoh with a food court opposite from it, there's tons of food there but i think what's popular there is a stall serving seafood. i remember the deep fried squid was great! and they also serve clams and other shellfish.

tuck kee restaurant is also a popular place for ppl to have big dinners (like wedding dinners etc etc) but what i like abt that restaurant is their vegetarian curry. my mom would go there just to ta pau the curry for meals.

near to that restaurant is a food place we call tai shu geok (which means feet of the big tree). they serve noodles there with liao (those deep fried fish cake / eggs / wan tan etc etc). 3 ways to have it : curry, clear soup or dry.. curry's what i always have.

a popular stall for satay is endoh satay. the stall is in a food court right in the middle of town.. some square.. the meat's very tender and juicy. malay satay btw (the one in kwong heng is made by chinese.. )

for a vast variety of food, there's also tong sui kai (sweet water street?!) which is a popular place that ppl go to eat cos there's soooooooo much food there, a whole street.. i especially like the wan tan mee there. some others like the ngau lam fun and the lolo (i dunno why its called that.. its basically shaved ice with a variety of fruits, sago and milk i think)

ipoh's also famous for its hiong peng and also its yim guk kai (salted chicken... well its actually herbed chicken cooked in a mountain of salt)

those are the more well known ones.. some of my personal favourites not already mentioned are..

lok lok (blah translations suck! its skewers of diff foods that u cook in boiling pots of soup) at either the tuesday pasar malam (night market) near jaya jusco or in ipoh garden (near wijaya tuition centre)

chicken chop rice at siew wan teng which is like 5 mins walk from my house and che jai mien (translation: little car noodles?! basically wan tan mee served a bit differently from the norm way) at hilltop, which is opposite siew wan teng

another place i love is a vegetarian shop opposite super kinta in town.. quite a large selection of dishes, with super cheap prices!

also, a good place to have roti canai is opposite my house! at a restaurant called salim. there was also a place i used to love having mutton curry n cabbage at which was 2 streets down from my house but i cant remember the name (and i think it's closed down or moved..)

clay pot yee mee at the shops surrounding the ipoh stadium (the yee mee is NOT fried like the kk ones.. i really dislike them fried.. makes it taste so oily n.. fried!)

there's a restaurant in greentown business area called fridays that serves real nice deep fried breaded chicken chop with a garlic sauce thats mmm mmmmm...

and the last on my list.. my mom's western food! i especially love her roasted pork with apple sauce served on a platter of oven baked cherry potatoes, pumpkin, carrots n cherry tomatoes! (preferably tomatoes and potatoes from cameron highlands). other favs are her quiche, moussaka, apple pie and a few others i'm lazy to recall

if i have the chance, i'd love to eat at all all these places but i dont think i can fit that much food into the numbered meals whilst in ipoh, so my short hit list are
ong kee
the one next to kwong heng
yook fook moon
vegetarian shop
the cheese naan place (lol!)
tai shu geok
lok lok
the hakka mee place
siew wan teng
hilltop
mom's roasted pork

sooo like me to have such a long post on food.. and here i set out to briefly (note the word BRIEF) write out a list..

for those ipoh ppl who read this, what are your favs? what additional places would you suggest?

_____________________________________________________________________________________

*ahem* DR ding, please be warned that i WILL call you out to participate in my culinary exploits this trip back (as i do every trip i'm back, lol!). you free on tues to go to the pasar malam? might ask my dad to go too if he's free.

criteria..

2008-12-20T00:01:00.005+08:00

i've thought of blogging about this subject a long time ago but didnt get down to it till now (cos the topic came up today).. so i thought that its about time, just to put my thoughts into words to remind myself (yes this is more for my sake than anyone else's).. this is in no way a full list as i have not thought about it enough to produce an extensive list, these are just those at the top of my head.. so here goes..

my criteria for a life partner..
must haves:
01. loves God tons more than anything in this life, me included
02. godly and strong character (quiet inner strength, not the bossy and controlling "strength")
03. intellectually and emotionally mature (and stable)
04. strong principles and the willingness to stand up for his beliefs
05. loves people (and loves me!)
06. good leadership qualities
07. commands my respect
08. kind and gentle
09. able to communicate well
10. honest and transparent (to me at least)
11. willing to bare his soul to me (as i am to him)

prefer to have:
01. musical
02. good dancer
03. loves children
04. touch as a primary love language
05. involved in the same ministry as i am
06. good looking =P
07. 5 Cs (cash, car, credit card etc.. a huge monthly income would be awesome but i can live without it..)
08. sense of humour

erm.. cant think of anything else atm.. i'll add when something else comes up..

what are your criteria?

twitting..

2008-12-18T23:58:00.003+08:00

for those who have twitter, i'm twitting at http://www.twitter.com/truelovej
i think its a pretty cool "instant blog" thingy where u can update ppl in the day to day ups and downs and whatnots..

for those that doesnt have, get it!

on a side note..
the decision is in! i've decided to move here officially.. so goodbye xanga, hello again blogspot..
this is the 2nd time i'm leaving xanga for blogspot lol.. hmm i think i'm fickle..

party..

2008-12-11T13:58:00.006+08:00

Christmas is coming!!

(honestly.. i cant wait until its over.. its been a tough few weeks of activity after activity and i dont really feel much enjoyment this year..)
but ANYWAY..

we have a Christmas party this year!

the details are below..

come join us!!

awesome..

2008-12-05T23:57:00.002+08:00

this is an awesome! the harmony is sooo good, and the blending is also awesome.. its not perfect perfect, but very nearly.. <3

new..

2008-12-04T00:10:00.003+08:00

well, all new blog.. deleted my old one..

also migrated all the posts from xanga..
not sure if i'll move yet but this one definately looks nicer than my xanga =P
.. not to mention its tons faster..

engaged..

2008-11-12T01:55:00.000+08:00

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!

To Rachel & Ser Young!

You guys are like the 2nd (n 3rd?) RBS person to be getting married! First being Leigh Lyn as far as i know =P
Not to mention one of the very few couples from our RBS batch.. i wonder if Colin is gonna propose soon... hmm..

wow.. my friends are starting to get married.. its amazing how time flies as i recall thinking a few years back that it'll be a long time before my friends or i get married.. and now, quite a number of my peers are already getting married..

i'm getting old..

but more importantly, the question that echoes in me again n again is "when, Lord?"

meaning..

2008-09-20T01:54:00.000+08:00

this season of struggle brings about new meaning to this kids song i used to listen to..
it goes..

if any man come after me
let him deny himself
pick up his cross and follow me
into life eternally

deny yourself
pick up your cross
and follow Jesus
He is the way truth and life

it also brings new meaning to the words of the Bible..

Luke 9:23 - Then he said to them all: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.

The Cost of Being a Disciple (Luke 14:25-33)

25Large crowds were traveling with Jesus, and turning to them he said: 26"If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters—yes, even his own life—he cannot be my disciple. 27And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.

28"Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Will he not first sit down and estimate the cost to see if he has enough money to complete it? 29For if he lays the foundation and is not able to finish it, everyone who sees it will ridicule him, 30saying, 'This fellow began to build and was not able to finish.'

31"Or suppose a king is about to go to war against another king. Will he not first sit down and consider whether he is able with ten thousand men to oppose the one coming against him with twenty thousand? 32If he is not able, he will send a delegation while the other is still a long way off and will ask for terms of peace. 33In the same way, any of you who does not give up everything he has cannot be my disciple.

Jesus says that if we wanna follow Him, we have to count the cost. to literally DENY yourself, pick up your cross DAILY, and follow Him. not just follow blindly, but knowing entirely what following Jesus means, knowing it involves surrender of all my wants, all my dreams, all my comfort, all my everything, and yet choosing to walk that path, to follow in Jesus' footsteps.

have i counted the cost? am i willing to carry my cross daily to follow Him? my answer is yes. my choices demonstrate my decision.

are you willing?

found..

2008-09-19T01:52:00.002+08:00

i found something today.. the lyrics to a song that i've penned down..
i'm not sure if i've created the music for it, if i have, it has already been lost.. sigh..
but here it is, so that i wont lose the lyrics..

_____________________________________________________________________________________

You've asked me Lord to surrender my all
You've called me Lord to live by Your ways
You've given me the strength that I need
To lose the things that I treasure the most

So here I am Lord
Broken and hurt
So here I am Lord
Nothing more to lose
Take me and use me
In Your power and might
That I may proclaim Your works
Your faithfulness and love

You've blessed me Lord, with friends that matter
You've taken them away, when I put them first
You've blessed me Lord, in so many ways
All these, my God, I give them to You

Now I'm here Lord, calling on Your Name
Praising and thanking You for all that has happened
I know that You have bigger plans for me
I only pray that I will be faithful til the end
_____________________________________________________________________________________

a few times during the past few weeks, i felt like there was a song coming..
i didnt sit down to write it.. but i know the title..
its called "back to Your heart"
birthed from this season of struggling with myself...

war..

2008-09-13T01:51:00.000+08:00

i cant fight this war.

i cant win this war.

will You fight for me?

housemate..

2008-09-11T01:49:00.000+08:00

new one..

guy...

..sigh.. there goes my freedom..

he's moving in mid month...

maturity..

2008-09-07T01:48:00.000+08:00

..spiritual maturity.. sigh..

josh preached on the christian life today, on why we do what we do.. and it came down to this..

..spiritual maturity..

my growth (or growth spurt) began a few years back when i came to kk to study, when i joined skyline. i've always loved God, though sometimes not as much as i should, i've always known in my heart, deep down, that He would always be number 1 in my life and i'll always go back to Him, even though sometimes i run away from Him for a season.. i was growing back home, very slowly, but growing.. building foundations in knowledge of the Word n stuff like that (not that big a feat considering i grew up in a denomination that emphasizes the Word and study of the Word above many other things..sunday school (which was from 4 or 5 yrs old to 17 yrs old) for me was pretty much Bible study), in essense, i was growing in the head. but here, i was growing in a different way, i was growing more in the heart. i've come to love God a lot more these past few years, and my life has changed in ways that surprises me..

but as i thought about maturing spiritually and reflected on my own walk with my God, i've realised that now, its a lot harder for me to live a "conflict-less" life.. a year or two back, i could do some things and not feel bad about it, but now, even a little compromise in my life would throw my heart off balance.

i am not a person that can live a life of hypocrisy, i've tried it, but my heart cant and will not tolerate it in my life. that's the reason why i stopped going to church for a year in my teenage days. i couldnt stand putting up an act in front of all the church members, making them think that all is well between me and God when He and i both knew it was a lie. i'd rather have people think badly of me than step into the house of God when i wasnt there to worship Him. think my parents went thru a rough time then. i knew my mom did, my dad let me make my own decision. we lived in the church compound itself, so its hard to miss when the pastor's daughter only comes to church when the service is over. i never told them why i didnt go. my mom thought it was because i was lazy to wake up early, and i left it at that.

i was never good at concealing my feelings.. when things arent right in my life, anyone who has eyes can see. i cant even pretend to be alright.. and so right now, that, combined with a little compromise, throws my life into chaos, emotionally.. its ok when its just between me and God, we can work it out slowly, but when it involves church and the ministries i'm involved in.. sigh.. a mess.. how do i go on stage to worship when i'm not right before God?? and its not as easy as just telling God "i'm sorry". i could do that and make myself feel a bit better in serving, but it'll just be a lie. i wont tell God i'm sorry until and unless i'm really sorry about what i did and if i'm willing to follow through in action.

how do i live a life that is selflessly devoted and submitted to God? all the time? i can be more motivated to be selfless when i'm with people, but why is it so hard when it comes to choosing God's pleasure above my own? i've been more selfless for someone i gave up for God.

the phrase i put on my msn a few days ago was this..
"the higher i go, the deeper i fall"
and thats so true of the life i live now. the further along i go in God, the easier i fall because even little things will cause me to stumble now, because i'm so much more aware now of the things i'm doing wrong compared to before. my life is like a sine graph now, and sometimes its really discouraging. i can go on a high with God in the day, and at night crash and burn so easily. sometimes i hate having such a weak will, when i can fall so easily and so hard in the same day, its like making the time being close to God such a cheap thing.

tomorrow is another day of serving. i havent settled things with God yet, and there's a prayer meeting in the morning before worship practice.. i really dislike going to prayer meetings when i'm not right with God in my heart.. and even more, i dislike so so much being on stage when my heart is not right.

God, i need to know how You feel.. i need to feel Your pain and disappointment when i fall. i need to know the pain so that i wont make You feel like that again.. please..

iphone..

2008-08-30T01:47:00.000+08:00

i want an iphone.. asap... *cries*
yeah.. i'm sold out to the iphone.. and to think it all started with having excess singapore dollars.. sigh

the story : i had excess SGD and thought, why not get an ipod nano if it fell into the 200SGD range? (it caught my eye whilst i was browsing in sim lim square.. didnt spend enough time staring at it or i might have gotten it) so after rolling the idea in my mind for a day.. (yeah it was that long).. and not being able to get it out of my mind at 1am in the morning, i went and checked out the sg price.. unfortunately it was abt 38SGD more than i had, and i had no intention of changing more money.. so after thinking and thinking and thinking again.. i decided to abandon the plan *sigh*

then after.. i went and checked out the iphone, since ppl were talking abt it.. i dont get into the whole i-want-this-gadget mode often.. my dad does, sorta.. but not me.. until now.. and i figured, what a great way to not have to carry around a phone, a pda, and an ipod?! i'm sorta lazy to carry a handbag now, since i'm normally not carrying one nowadays, and so, having to carry the pda around is troublesome.. i only do it if i need to use it.

what a great solution! right right?!?

so for the sake of SOME ppl.. i will state my reasons for wanting an iphone..
1. dont need to carry all 3 items as stated above
2. (and this is the reason why iphone is the selected gadget instead of all the others).. is cos it looks good..
i've always liked things that looked good.. (which is why i got a viva instead of the myvi.. myvi has an ugly butt!!) but of course the item has to be good la.. all looks and nothing else is just a waste of $$.

so for everyone out there.. join in the petition for the iphone in malaysia!!

http://www.petitionspot.com/petitions/ip3g4m

your voice counts! just do it!

.. now all i need is patience.. and a willingness to spend my $$..

hurt..

2008-08-19T01:47:00.000+08:00

argh! the guys are playing pt again!!

let me give u some background info.. i have these 2 close friends from my early gaming days. they remain to this day some of my closest friends. the first is nicknamed "chopstick" and the 2nd is "asskimo". chops is from the us, and kim is from kl. i met kim personally a few months before i started gaming and what do u know, we became close friends ingame.. when i didnt know that i really knew him.. ahaha.. one day when we were trading icq infos (yes.. it was THAT long ago..) i found out that the guy behind the character was a guy i spent a month at bible school with! so that was really cool.. and we've been good friends ever since. chops used to be my absolute best friend.. until we had a falling out due to certain conflicts, but we have since reconciled and remain friends.. thank God. these 2 ppl are very precious.. very close to my heart..

this morn, i saw this on chop's msn "pt anyone? =>" and so i asked him if he was playing pt again.. (pt is the game we all met in and we used to be this trio ingame.. and also out of the game.) he explained that he was playing in a private server.. blah blah blah.. then kim msgs me after i ask chops for the site link and so i excitedly say "PT!" and he asks me if i'm downloading.. i was excited cos if he plays, and i play, then it'd be like a reunion of sorts.. back ingame.. both of them were always fun to be with.. then i find out kim's already playing.. bleh -.- they didnt tell me sooner hahah.. but anyways, nvm, now i have them to leech from!! xD kim says he'll get all my gear ready before i start! aahhaha.. downloading the game client will take a day or 2 sigh.. but oh well.. the cool thing is that we start at lvl 80!! craaazyy.. i played pt for years and never even made 75.. lvling on the normal servers are just dreadful.. too hard...

i've decided to make an archer this time instead of my normal priestess.. since i dont need to lvl from scratch and i need the damage for higher lvl map lvling..

dont think i'll have much time to play, not sure how far i'll stick to gaming at this time in my life when i'm busy with other stuff and also trying to effect some changes to my life, but lets see how it goes.. whatever it is, i know i'll always have help if i want ahahha.. if they decide not to be mean n bully me like they always do..

last but not least..
@kim... I LOVE U KIM!! xD
@chops... pig ass girly man!! ahaha <3

i really love u both..

pt..

2008-07-24T01:45:00.000+08:00

babies..

2008-07-23T01:25:00.000+08:00

one of the most beautiful of God's creations. whenever i hold a baby in my arms, i think of how amazing God is to create someone so beautiful, so small, with so much potential and who will grow up to be an adult in years to come. just one little baby demonstrates so much of God's awesome greatness.

a baby also brings out feelings of deep love from my heart. love for the baby that i hold, and longings for one of my own. i dont think i'll ever tire of holding a baby.. dont know about the sleepness nights caring for one, as i've never experienced that yet, but i think i'll manage, out of love...

babies babies babies.. let me show u a few..

beautiful marcella, my colleague's baby..

baby timmy, i'm sure most (if not all) of u know him

and last but not least..

tatha, my first niece! i havent even held her yet.. sigh.. hopefully i'll be able to on my next trip home..

sigh.... when?.....

sigh..

2008-07-12T01:24:00.001+08:00

thats all i can say.. sigh..

gaming..

2008-07-01T01:23:00.002+08:00

one of the hobbies that i dont have the liberty to indulge in.. sigh..

sat night i was talking to andrew, and the subject of gaming came up.. brought back so many memories and so many wishes and dreams..

i've been a gamer for many years, though i have not been able to game in the past 2 years or so. i think i started when i was somewhere around the age of 16-18 (serious online gaming). my first was priston tale, which i played for probably 2-3 years.. that game made me so happy, and yet made me depressed too. levelling on that game is freaking hard when u're high leveled. one death would cost millions of exp, which would take weeks if not months to gain back, depending on how frequent one plays. during my holidays, i would wake up, start playing through the day (with breaks for lunch n other necessities) until i went to bed around 3-4am.. and this would be for a month or 2, depending on how long my holidays last. if i had school.. i'd be gaming right after school.. my ex would get so mad cos i was always gaming, even when he was there.. haha.. i stopped playing pt cos it went into pay to play mode T.T so had to give it up..

i think the next game i played was ragnarok online. i only played on private servers though. the first server i played on was called afRO, created by a friend from PT. most of us playing on that server were from PT eheheheh, we got to know each other from the PT chatroom we had on mIRC. we still keep in contact heheh.. when i venture into irc, that is..

i played a few other games after pt n ro.. among them were risk your life, flyff, maple story (gave up after 10 mins cos it sucked! haha), gunbound.. cant really remember the rest.. think there was a few more.. but the best game i've played so far is World of Warcraft!

that game really rocks! expensive to play, but definately rocks.. (i got to play for free ahhaha). the BEST thing about this game is raiding!! i absolutely love raiding.. sigh... i miss it.. one of my dreams is to be in a great guild and to raid constantly n consistently. i almost fulfilled that dream, but it didnt work out T.T i still hope to be able to achieve that somehow. i was in a great guild and i was raiding a wee bit.. didnt get to do it constantly cos the raid times were in the morning cos most of the players were american, and i had classes (back when i was in uni).. after that, certain events happened and a few of us left the guild T.T

as i was saying.. raids! raids in WoW were where big groups of players got together and went into special places to defeat certain bosses in the game. the raids were really tough and required everyone to pull their weight or the whole team would be wiped out, and mostly everyone in the team were at the max level, if not one or max two levels from max. raids in wow were like 20 or 40 man teams. the 40 player raid were AWESOME! imagine, 40 ppl gathered at one time, to do this thing together.. and we'd have to try it a few times cos we get wiped out if ppl didnt co-operate and follow the strategy.

check out a few raid pics..

a pic of the raid members.. needs to be well balanced between different characters and skills to be able to succeed.

during a raid..

posing ahahha..

i saw some really cool raid pics yrs back, but cant find them now..
we would all log into ventrilo so we can talk and also communicate easily during a raid. the leaders will tell everyone what they should do and what role to play and when to do this, when to do that so we can all get organized. those were awesome awesome times..

one day, i hope to be able to do this again.. but this time, gotta start from scratch.. maybe.. i think its possible to recover my lvl 60 undead warlock and 40+ dwarf warlock.. i love warlocks ahahahah..

one day...

disappointed..

2008-06-25T01:23:00.001+08:00

my sister wont be visiting me in july as she originally planned sigh... its kinda disappointing as i was looking forward to spending time with her, but i am happy for her as she's going to london... all expenses paid.. to perform some malaysian thing there with her school...

oh well.. next time i guess.. sigh...

beautiful..

2008-06-22T01:22:00.001+08:00

hahah.. one of the guys got me a stickie for my car.. it says..

and after that i got insulted from most guys for this.. its not like i asked to be beautiful... too bad if u guys cant take it.. as unc j / mel says.. DEAL WITH IT!

lol... just joking...

but me = beautiful.. mmhmm.. used to find it very hard to believe but now i can say i am, cos God has made me beautful! hehehe...

home..

2008-06-22T01:21:00.001+08:00

today i finally had the chance to explore 1 Borneo. the 4 of us covered almost every nook and cranny of all floors. being at 1B just somehow makes me feel like i'm home. its like, i walk in the door and i'm teleported to another time and place.. i guess its the look of the place (which is very similar to Midvalley imo, though i'm not frm kl), but mainly the things they sell there.. seeing all the stuff on sale brings me back to when i walked the malls in ipoh.. the same things are finally being brought over here.. sigh... i have waited for this day for 4 long years.. even though not everything that i want are brought over, i'm thankful for what is available now.

there's also this shop there called Daiso where everything is sold at a flat rate of RM5. I LOVE THAT SHOP!!!! there are soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo many things in there that are soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo cool and useful. if i wasnt as broke as i am, i'd probably have spent a bomb in there.. if i had a new house i was decorating... *dies* soo many things in there i wanted to buy, but decided not to because 1. kinda low on the finance after the bombs i've blown 2. i dont absolutely absolutely need them. managed to buy only 1 item which i was looking for. i also know where to buy ikea stuff now! now if only they'd bring in the RM16.90 non-stick pan and some good yet cheap non-stick pots.. that would be just glorious...

last stop before we left the place was a must go in my list... what else but Sushi King? i've also waited 4 years for this.. i was a lot less frugal on my selection of sushi this time as i realized how cheap sushi there is compared to the other places i frequent. at wagamama, the sushi sucks, and the cheapest plate of sushi is RM3 and it goes up to RM8 or RM12. at hana, the plates cost RM2, RM4, RM6 and RM8. at sushi king, they are priced at RM2, RM3, RM4, RM5 and RM6. they're basically the same stuff but sold at a cheaper rate... 2 out of 3 of my fav sushi dishes are found in sushi king.. not to mentioned the best kani-mayo in town is still the ones from sushi king.. even hana cant compare.. for ppl who dont know, a must have at hana is the cheese maki. its absolutely wonderful, this is my other fav. also, people who are new to sushi king HAVE to try out their sweet soy sauce. i cant remember the name of the sauce but its the one thats NOT labelled "shoyu" and its thicker than the norm soy sauce. that is one sauce that i have not found in any other sushi joint in town. between us, we managed to finish 1 and a half bottles of the sauce (mostly, it was nick.. he was almost drinking it all..) ..i was wondering if i should apply for the sushi king discount card.. i didnt today because i'm wondering if i'll be visiting 1B to have sushi much cos its quite far away.. i shall get it if i find myself going there a lot.. i wonder if they do deliveries... hmmmmm......

check out what we did..

the beginning...

during..

you can obviously see what my favourites are..

after...

only mine...

our feast!

after we satisfied our hearts and tummies with the wonderful sushi, it was abt time to get going, we finished off the last stretch of shops and then back we go to church.

the song that comes to mind for all this is one of the songs on the movie "how to lose a guy in 10 days" entitled "feels like home" by chantal kreviazuk (now i know why i like that song.. its sung by chantal!)

sigh..... home..... at last... ?

p/s : w00t! manhattan fish market!

overdrive..

2008-06-18T01:20:00.001+08:00

this is something i really gotta rant about.. my mind is seriously taking me on a ride!

lets do a little rewind..

last night, i got talking with Eric (a few of us had dinner together and ended up on a prolonged fellowship in a few locations) and he suggested that i switch to dermalogica products since i've already gone for the whole treatment thing, which i know makes sense and i was intending to do, but a bit later as i've got a whole range of body shop products left (i started with body shop abt a month ago). makes sense that to maximize the effect, using dermalogica would be the best.. the main reason why i didnt was that i didnt wanna waste what i had, n someone suggested i give it away.. blah blah blah.. fast forward a bit.. found someone happy to accept! ahhaha, u know who u are... but anyway, now comes the decision, do i or do i not go ahead with it? so my mind was pondering, pondering, considering, weighing the pros and cons, seeing if i can live with the consequences etc.. (thats why i always take quite a long time to decide on things... i think it through a lot..)

then last night, i FINALLY (after months n months) sat down n modified my CV and had it sent out.. after that my mind was going through the whole - what are the possible scenarios? can i handle based on what i heard? do i want to try if given the opportunity? am i willing to go that far everyday? how will expenditure be like? will my schedule be able to fit? what are the pros and cons? do i wanna leave my current job? am i willing to give up the things i have now? and a whole lot of other questions.. but mind u, all these things happen in the back of my mind.. its like i think but yet i dont think.. my mind somehow processes things like that..

so these 2 issues have been running around in my head the entire night.. to the point where i couldnt concentrate on anything else cos all the brainpower focused on these 2 issues... then when i finally decided to sleep.. I COULDNT! its like my brain going on overdrive.. look a long while before i slept.. and then when i woke this morning.. the whole dermalogica thing is still spinning n spinning in my head... i woke up pretty early and would have appreciated the hour or so extra sleep, but cant get back to sweet oblivion.. so finally got fed up enough to blog abt it.. amazingly, i dont even feel tired when i normally would have sleeping the same hours..

so the decision comes to: will i or will i not go for it.. only for the dermalogica thing.. i think i've pretty much made up my mind (or my mind has made the decision for me), and the only thing left to do is to go put it into action... which i probably will.. after work... today... (when i decide stuff, i normally do it straight after cos if i tarry, i end up not doing...plus i'm quite impatient when it comes to these things..) so yeah.. sigh.. what a night..

writings..

2008-06-16T01:11:00.001+08:00

while i'm still on a roll, let me share a song and a poem.

i wrote this song a few months back. the title of the song is "Set on You"

Lord I lift my eyes to You
Come save me
Lord I lift my eyes to You
Come heal
Lord I lift my eyes to You
Come touch me
Lord I lift my eyes to You
Come change

And all of my desires
I place them in Your hands
And all of my hopes and dreams
I surrender to You

I wanna live, O Lord
With You the centre of my life
Draw my heart so close to You
That everything just fades
To see You and You alone
And nothing else in life
Lord give me the strength to live
With my eyes and heart
Set on You

This poem i wrote a few weeks back when i was at my friend's wedding reception by the beach..

Across the great expanse
Like diamonds in the sun
I see the waves glittering
Like an endless show of lights

Their beauty beyond measure
Their Maker, what words can express
His power, His grace, His love and wonder
O Lord, what can compare?

I praise You Lord, for Your marvelous deeds
I praise You Lord, for the work of Your hands
For all the beauty in the world
All You've given us to enjoy

i didnt bring my cam, so i couldnt get a shot of what i was seeing when i wrote the poem, but it looked sorta like this..

... except that it was in the evening and the sea looked all gold...

today..

2008-06-15T00:58:00.003+08:00

i'm not much of a blogger, as evidenced by the last post i posted.. but since my dear mentee asked me to blog, well, i will blog about my day. i dont promise frequent posts as i'm normally too lazy to blog, but we'll see how things go.

today wasnt the greatest of days, in fact, it was one of those low low looooowww days. woke up depressed i guess.. let me give a brief on what brought this on...

yesterday, i spent the whole day talking to my ex and it brought back a lot of emotions i guess. i'm not in love with him, though i still do love him. its more that the ease of talking and sharing with him brought back days of being with someone, working together (in a sense), having a companion.. but more than just companionship, it brought back the reality of how much i chose to give up. he was one of the best things in my life.

which brings me to why i was depressed.. i was crying out to God inside all morning, asking Him why? why am i waiting? how long do i have to wait? it feels like i have given up everything i hold dear and been left with nothing. not only in the area of relationships but also in my work. i had been promised one thing from the beginning and now, after a year, that promise still has not been fulfilled. i'm not by nature a very patient person, i can force myself to be for a while, but sooner or later, this happens..

it hurts so much to see again the things i have given up, to still wish things could be different but yet knowing that path is closed to me. to be able to imagine in my little human head how wonderful life could be if only.. yet know that it will never happen. to still be waiting and waiting and not know when this waiting will be over but also seeing no short term end to the entire process.

and the question that rings in my heart is "why Lord?". i dont doubt God and His plans and His best and everything we all know, but yet my heart still struggles with these feelings. i know God has better plans and even this waiting has His purposes written on it, but yet walking through it isnt any easier. if only i could have a choice when to turn off my emotions and when to turn them on again...

O God, i love You so much, You know i do. i have given all i have and all i want to You. it hurts so much to walk through this but i will do it because You want me to. please just give me the strength to continue waiting, continue walking..